Women

I love women

I love fantasizing

About women

Many different women

It’s just the shape of certain women

Something about women

I respect women whenever I’m around women

But at the same time I love the bodies of women, the faces of women

I don’t mean to objectify women, I just call it having natural fantasies about women

I’d never violate women

But watching it happen in porn – I’m not against it, I’m for it

At the end of the day I love women

And I’ve hurt women, not physically, but I’ve been mean to women

Especially women who were close to me, that’s not how it’s supposed to be but you know how relationships are

I just love women – sexually and otherwise

Sometimes I get mesmermized by women

And sometimes I hypnotize women

I love women, all the time

Even if I’m not sexually attracted to a woman

I’ll still be nice to that woman and appreciate that woman

The looks of certain women, the beauty of a woman

There’s nothing else like it

Suicide

So you claim you’re suicidal

Never once tho

Did you really think you’d do it

So you claim you’re suicidal

And you’re stupid or smart enough to do it

So you claim you’re suicidal

All I sees survival

So you claim you’re suicidal

You took your life yesterday

And this is what you call revival

An Excursion

I’m at a Family Dollar

Deodorant in hand

And I’m in the aisle that has the dog collars

I get a call

10 minutes later I’m at a mall

With no money

I look at things

I can’t buy

That’s funny

I can’t buy

nothing here

So why am I here?

I leave and drive

to an area that I’ve yet to visit

Black teens at a bus stop, I hear them talk, it’s all explicit

And the jargon used it’s kind of new

I can’t understand it, I’m getting old

If I were to be homeless – I’d go

where it’s never cold

Homeless in fine weather

May be better than having a home

In shitty weather

I make a left

And a dude with a gun called Mac shoots a dude with a gun called Tec

I witness this with a slight flinch and then hit the gas

I’m thinking back on my car crash

Unnecessary, that it was

I park the car and get out dressed in such a way I can pass for a thug

But in this neighborhood everyone looks harder, looks tougher

I take a stroll on plenty uppers and notice things

Sometimes nothing interesting pops up to take note of

All my writing stored up, will it ever see

The dark of day

A city slicker with the heart of hay

A country boy talking slang and claiming to be from an urban gang

The other side I venture into

I’m standing in line observing a menu

What is it that I want to eat?

Suddenly

it smells like feet

I turn to leave

I don’t really need to eat

Out of boredom, some people eat

Look at me, you can tell

I need to eat

I walk by a beggar

With a cold shoulder

My life

of luxury

That could be me

But it’s not

I never call

weed pot

My mind jots like hopscotch

Things I think not now

I will think later

You live next door

As do you

But if you ask me – I have no neighbors

An Ethereal View

I’m thinking different

Think the same. then switch

back to different

Something’s wrong

It’s intuition

So I can’t be specific

Something’s wrong

in general

And every cure is specifically designed

To remove one small ill at a time

Quality of life has reached its pinnacle

Perhaps I can do a little better if I try enormous

Or go to sleep and die dormant

I don’t know

I see others

Around where I live

And wonder if

they suffer

Similar shit

I ask around

Words and ears

A flask to mouth

Everyone laughs

at what I’m talking about

I live in doubt

No one’s true

Myriad avenues

Are still left

Which should I take

Should passion count?

I am down,

for the count

I consume a hand

Full of mela-

Tonin and

pass out

I wake up,

he’s still counting

He says he’s counting

many years

I don’t live in fear

I live in doubt

Debt haunts me

I can’t take

certain routes

And that’s a shame

I switch lanes

My principle

in elementary school

Her name was Ms. James

I think pain, think strange

I want to know the pain your hiding

You tell me

generalities

Specifics,

you are not providing