Sonnet #5

The soul cannot be proven like genes that form the spirit

My greatest sin’s awareness too severe to be near to

I freestyle – off the top – I can’t say I engineered it

He or she who lends an ear to…me…I domineer to

Scheme, scam, plan, play, love is like living in your finest day

Shining like a crime that descended from the heavens – oh!

Pimping out Christmas on the corner since then till dismay

Lick my balls, no thought’s unspared, my poetry’s semen – al

Grinning like a cynic as I lie to you euphoric

Truth spinning like the globe on the fingertips of trotters

Changing like a memory – it’s not the way you stored it

I liked the girl I had till I saw somebody hotter

Thinking like a pig in pervwords yet oinking like a gent

Question Demise: What if no one ever shot 50 Cent?

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Chicago’s Very Own

It’s time for a new decision

Death is the goal so long as life is the mission

If I’m asking for it you can’t feel bad when you give it

So if you’re feeling froggy then ribbit

I’ve instilled in you the indifference I too had to live with till…

Should I be proud?

To a certain extent I think yes

If my rhymes are my wardrobe

I think it’s fair to say I’m not always dressed to impress

So what’s next?

I’m just gonna keep writing

Cross my fingers

And hope the next gal who comes along will find it enticing

Die Alone

I’m so glad you have a partner so you won’t have to die alone

The problem with risking it for me

If it didn’t work out you might have had to die alone

And I am so glad you don’t have to die alone

I could have been the reason that you wound up dying all alone

I’m so glad I’m not the reason you wound up dying all alone

Still I had an actual chance in person

So you were obviously prepared

To risk dying all alone

And I’m glad you’re not scared of dying all alone

It could of been because of me

You ended up dying all alone

I rather you die with someone by your side

Than chance it with me

And end up dying all alone

Decades from now you’ll look back

Exhaling a last sigh of relief, turning your head and seeing your partner watching you leave

Maybe you wonder about me

If you do, just remember I am glad

You aren’t dying all alone

Suicide

So you claim you’re suicidal

Never once tho

Did you really think you’d do it

So you claim you’re suicidal

And you’re stupid or smart enough to do it

So you claim you’re suicidal

All I sees survival

So you claim you’re suicidal

You took your life yesterday

And this is what you call revival

Sonnet #4

Hell is my habitat, it hurts to have to fathom that, yes

Drugs, stress, dread, unwanted thoughts of other people having sex

I think I’m depleted, I think I’m defeatist, I lost it

I think I’m heroic, professional poet, I got this

Alternating between dreams and metaphysical nightmares

If you’re still there – I’m here, spaced-out and aware, single but paired

I am Air McNair in this shadow game – the final pass thrown

I could have stayed in class but dropped out as an iconoclast

How’s that working out for you? The question’s posed rhetorically

You saw me suffer stoically, study here the sordid me

I’m addicted to a risk, the supply seems unlimited

Decorum’s an illusion that dresses up the primitive

Is it cynical to notice, have I made you cynical

You used to wonder what I thought – now you think identical

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

When I Believed In God

When I Believed In God

It was like OCD

Always apologizing silently 

In my head for shit I did

Repeating over and over apologies 

Because my mind was always sinning

I was always fucking up

The mental stress always building up

Till I decided I don’t give a fuck

In my head God went away 

But I no longer had anyone to pray to

So I felt for the first time truly alone 

No one to cry to in silent agony 

No one to listen 

To the pleading thoughts 

Uttered in my mind 

But in return there was a peace 

For example, I no longer felt guilty 

For using the Lord’s name in vain 

It was a release 

Release from custody 

So now I feel alone