When I Believed In God

When I Believed In God

It was like OCD

Always apologizing silently 

In my head for shit I did

Repeating over and over apologies 

Because my mind was always sinning

I was always fucking up

The mental stress always building up

Till I decided I don’t give a fuck

In my head God went away 

But I no longer had anyone to pray to

So I felt for the first time truly alone 

No one to cry to in silent agony 

No one to listen 

To the pleading thoughts 

Uttered in my mind 

But in return there was a peace 

For example, I no longer felt guilty 

For using the Lord’s name in vain 

It was a release 

Release from custody 

So now I feel alone 

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